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Ime i prezime

  1. Neko rece u komentarima, it's tectonic! And it is... https://www.dpreview.com/interviews/2999935759/interview-we-talk-to-ap-director-of-photography-about-switch-to-sony?utm_source=self-desktop&utm_medium=marquee&utm_campaign=traffic_source j*b*m li ga ako mu njonja nije malo podeksponirana ? Doduse na terenu na musterijinim monitorima.
  2. Neko rece u komentarima, it's tectonic! And it is... https://www.dpreview.com/interviews/2999935759/interview-we-talk-to-ap-director-of-photography-about-switch-to-sony?utm_source=self-desktop&utm_medium=marquee&utm_campaign=traffic_source
  3. Sat i po snimka na kom autor Braid-a prolazi kroz skoro sve nivoe i komentarise svoje odluke u njihovom dizajnu:
  4. Radio sam ovaj render za Light Chelenge na Cg Talku. Maya je u pitanju.
  5. https://www.artstation.com/jobyek/blog/NDrE...019-talk-slides
  6. dos'o mi drugar i don'o mi 50-icu ... a onda ... aperture wide shut :P 30d , 50 1.8 , dodge i burn ... edit: malo mi je puko color profile , tako da nemam pojma sta vi vidite na monitoru :P
  7. http://www.lightstalkers.org/rare_josef_koudelka_talk линк се налази испод колор фотографије ( Куделка на високој столици )
  8. integracija sa youtube-om ,picasa albums.... http://googletalk.blogspot.com/2007/03/goo...alk-gadget.html
  9. Slikano u Kelnu na terasi LVR kule :) f4,8, iso 64, 1/1600
  10. ... a pre toga, probajte da nadjete odgovor na http://archicad-talk.graphisoft.com/ Princip je uvek isti: dok se ne pomucite da nesto nadjete sami, necete zapamtiti. Tek kad se pomucite, pa probate, pa tek onda pitate, zapamticete. Ajd, recimo da prenesemo ovde pricu " ... a kako da ..." iz teme ArchiCAD book?
  11. Production: Are a print designer with some experience (the more the better) in the garment and apparel industry? If so, we’d love to hear from you. Bonfire.com is transforming the way people buy and sell high-quality custom apparel. With the epic rise of social media, everyone has a newfound – but very strong – public voice. Bonfire helps people sell apparel to their community while we do all the heavy lifting of payment processing, customer service & fulfillment. We are seeking enthusiastic individuals to be part of our growing design team. You will work directly with our customer happiness team to prepare files for print and most importantly to make sure our customers are happy with their shirt design. Come join an awesome team that is international, ambitious, and growing fast! Duties and Responsibilities Vectorizing and preparing art files for screenprint in a fast paced work environment Prepare files according to the Bonfire templates and processes Use the Bonfire platforms to communicate with all teams and to process design requests Work with our team create design options and design edits for our customers Recommend color combinations based on knowledge of our shirt products and screenprinting Communicate with US and Serbian team via video chat Potential for custom design work in the future within this role Qualifications At least 3 years in Illustration or graphic design or equivalent advanced knowledge through work experience and intellectual instruction. Highly proficient in Adobe Illustrator and Photoshop. Experience with screenprinting and DTG file preparation is helpful in this role Versatility in illustrative styles and ability to work in multiple styles and media. Previous experience in the t-shirt / fashion industry is a plus, but consideration will be based on portfolio. Strong English communication skills Strong time management, and organization skills Proactive, detail-oriented team player Ability to create and find great GIFs Equipment: This is a remote position and candidates should have the following design setup: Internet: 15-20MB upload/download Software: Adobe Illustrator, Photoshop, Acrobat High powered laptop or desktop with video capability Hours: Part and full time shift available. We will accept applicants for a 9-5 shift, but are also looking for designers who can work a later shift, and on weekends. Please note what hours you are able to work in your application. Other details: This is a remote contract job. This position would be part of the international design team, working remotely for the US team. We connect over custom designed platforms and online tools, proficiency in these platforms will be crucial to success in this role. Salary Range: $800/month First evaluation after 6 months and raise if that person fits. Please submit resume, and portfolio as well as any other details you would like us to know. We can’t wait to talk to you! liana@bonfire.com milos@bonfire.com
  12. Panasonic will not announce one…bit TWO new Full Frame cameras on September 25. Both with IBIS, 4k60P and Leica SL mount. https://www.43rumors.com/ft5-panasonic-will...ibis-and-4k60p/ Note: This rumor has been posted first on the very new L-rumors.com website. This site will talk about rumors about all three companies involved in the new project: Leica, Sigma and Panasonic. – Panasonic will not announce one…bit TWO new Full Frame cameras on September 25. Both with IBIS, 4k60P and Leica SL mount. And at the same time Panasonic will also announce three new lenses (2 zooms and 1 fast prime). Here is the rumored list via L-rumors.com: 1) Entry level Full Frame L-mount camera with IBIS, 4k60p and Low Resolution Sensor 2) Pro level Full Frame L-mount camera with IBIS, 4k60p and High Resolution Sensor (close to 50MP) 3) New Full Frame 24-70mm zoom lens 4) New Full Frame 50mm fast prime 5) New Full Frame 70-200mm zoom prime
  13. naleteh na ovaj thread na xsi base forumu. pun je odlicnih pitanja i odlicnijih :D odgovora. najvetji deo price je univerzalan, ne striktno vezan za xsi, tako da svi mogu da izvuku dosta koristi.. toplo preporucujem uz kafu ;) http://www.xsibase.com/forum/index.php?boa...d=13593;start=0
  14. Hello guys this is a project which I have been doing for quite a while so I found out this forum and I would like to hear your opinion about it. This Is a sci-fi game with a story about 2 ancient space races which are in fight from the time when universe was created. Both are hard to understand life beings but in basic they are intelligent life forms that are able to create their body one race from minerals (Asmodians) one from asteroids (Kirkodians). The thing that is special with the Kirkodians is that they contain DNA and are able to create life forms. When these two start to fight the asteroid parts break apart and when they hit the planet if it is suitable place for life to develop the life starts there. So Kirkodians have crated ultimate race to eradicate Asmodians and they created humans. But humans as intelligent as they are they are very selfish and in the end they will kill themselves. When Asmodians saw potential in them they sent fully mineral moon to circle around earth moon. When humans have discovered it brought the revolution to them and they start to technologically evolve at very fast rate. This started to happen without Kirkodians knowledge and they already send huge asteroid to destroy humans like dinosaurs. But the Asmodians moon changed orbit and crashed in that asteroid before it hit the earth. But the explosion was too huge and debris from the impact crashed in to the earth and destroyed the atmosphere which leads humans to use their technology to become cyborgs. Now the game starts as the whole rain of asteroids started to fall on earth and you manage to escape on colony on Saturn’s moon titan where you discover the story. This story is not known to humans because all that was happening around them was considered as a natures work. The whole game is crated with java LWGJ openGL. I have a good knowledge in 3d modeling and animation but I decided to make game in 2d so I crated isometric game that uses Images of rendered 3d models. Everything was modeled in Maya and then rendered in isometric view. this is the view of player there is animation for walking shooting and standing(breathing when standing) when you aproach computer you can see some more detailed stories if you want details you are also able to talk to other people which give you direction what you should do next here is the dialog it is based on morrowind. NPC says something and on the right side keywords appear from the text that he said and when you click on keyword you get more explained that word or he just continues to talk about it. this is the main menu when you start the game Here is also video of it.
  15. Za sada objektivno ne vidim konkurenciju A7 III ili A7R3 ... ali ne kupujem dok ne vidim kako će da rade Sigme Art serije sa E-mount navojem. Sigmin MC-11 adapter nije loš ali je daleko od prave montaže ili što bi Kazuto Yamaki, CEO of Sigme rekao: "The MC-11 adapter can be thought of as kind of a translator. Let’s say the camera speaks English, and the lens speaks Japanese. The MC-11 recognizes which lens is attached, and allows the camera and lens to talk to one another. That’s a complicated task. And even with the best translator, conversation isn’t as smooth as it would be between native speakers. It takes time to fine-tune the communication. What we did was to optimize the communication, for Sony. It’s faster, smoother, and we were able to utilize Sony [communication] protocols in the lenses." E ovo iz zadnje rečenice čekam i držim im palčeve :) Darkves, Činjenica koje si ti tumačio po sopstvenom nahođenju. A kakav si ti fotograf ako nisi u stanju da identifikuješ krop slike tj. nisi ni zainteresovan da vidiš da li je krop ili nije (a trebalo ti je 2 min. vremena da to proveriš) ... a još gore od toga je da si zbog jedne jedine reči napravio takvu dramu i raspravu da mi takvo sitničarenje uopšte nije jasno u svetlu svih činjenica koje su navedene.
  16. Digital Designer Folkmatic is looking for an experienced Digital Designer to join our Copenhagen or Belgrade offices If you’re right for the job, it’s because you have vision, voice and pride. You’re a user yourself and have the empathy and imagination to understand a full spectrum of user needs. You care deeply about what you put out there and understand the responsibility you carry when advising and designing. Your background has provided a broad experience in shaping great user experience for screens large and small. In addition to having a unique vision you have a strong voice to speak your convictions and an even stronger will to execute your concepts. What you’ll be doing with us Apply a finely tuned eye for both the big idea and the many details to deliver quality you can take pride in Collaborate with project managers and developers to produce forward-thinking, thoughtful and relevant design work Work intimately with clients – understand their business and challenges on goals and requirements Take part in phrasing the creative direction for our projects Interview, mentor and lead daily work of interns and juniors Lift agency-wide responsibility on innovation and quality Understand project boundaries, incl. business-related conditions, internal goals, user needs, technical limitations, budget and schedule Conduct newbiz conceptualisations and presentation pitches Stay up-to-date on new tools and best practices for working smarter Maintain awareness of industry trends and share latest developments with the rest of the team What we expect you’re capable of Humblebrag your experience with a strong portfolio in digital design Master Photoshop, InDesign, Illustrator and Sketch like a boss Talk the talk with English skills, both written and spoken – Danish or Serbian are a plus Present well-grounded knowledge base of web tech and mobile frameworks Communicate effectively virtually, in a team and under a project setting Proficiency with HTML/CSS/JS – a plus About Folkmatic Folkmatic is a digital agency with offices in Copenhagen and Belgrade. We consult and realize digital business that transforms products and services by putting people first. The team is a collective of senior digital types with agency and product backgrounds. We’re “people people” – dedicated to making the people we work with and the people we work for better at what they do. Not least, we’re passionate about the process and dedicate hands-on 
seniors to secure a safe journey from briefing through exploration. Our clients range from startups to corporate, across a broad spectrum of industries and count 24/7 Entertainment, Citrix (Podio), DAY, Egmont, Flügger, Copenhagen Municipality, Lauritz.com, Magasin, Nobel, Phaidon, Radikale Venstre, Squirl, TDC, Zimmer, 
and many more. If you’re the right fit for us, we’ll be happy to offer you a seat in our light Copenhagen office or charming Belgrade office – with all the daily delights, opportunities to learn and grow, competitive salary scheme and extra perks. Apply for the job Please send us your application along with your CV and portfolio to joinus@folkmatic.com with the subject field “Digital Designer”. If you have any questions regarding this position, don’t hesitate to get in touch.
  17. https://www.artstation.com/polyjunky/blog/v...hoot-don-t-talk
  18. NEW YORK (AdAge.com) -- Call it the end of an era. Alex Bogusky, the oft-long-haired ad man who has won piles of industry awards, graced many a publication's cover, raced motorcycles and, like any real celebrity, boasted legions of fans, haters and Twitter impersonators, is leaving MDC Partners. And he's not only leaving the Toronto-based holding company, to which he sold Crispin Porter & Bogusky, the agency he joined as an art director in 1989 and helped build and export from Miami to Boulder, Co. He's leaving the industry altogether. That his interests have strayed from the ad world is far from shocking. Over the past two years Mr. Bogusky, who turns 47 this month, has spent less and less time with clients in favor of writing books, advocating green transportation such as bike-sharing programs and hosting an online talk show from a new headquarters he refers to as the "cottage." Outspoken beliefs What is curious is the timing of his departure. It comes at a time when Mr. Bogusky has been increasingly airing his outspoken personal beliefs, which could be viewed as a liability. It's not clear whether the holding company felt it was time for him to speak on behalf of himself -- and only himself -- or if he determined those beliefs no longer jibed with his profession. In November 2009 he published "9-Inch Diet," a book which, coming from someone who'd crafted advertising campaigns for Domino's Pizza and Burger King, would seem inflammatory enough. People magazine plugged the book -- but failed to note Crispin's client list included a few famous fast-feeders. More recently, Mr. Bogusky posted a lengthy essay decrying children's advertising that mentioned current Crispin client Burger King. Among the excerpts: * "My old client at Burger King used to talk about pulling all the kids' advertising as a way to garner some positive press and put pressure on McDonald's to do the same, knowing that it was a much, much bigger part of McDonald's business." * "As we took on the BK account, we politely offered that we could not work on that part of their marketing. And in subsequent years we declined multiple invitations to work on the kids' business. Once one of our adult spots for 'SpongeBob SquarePants' (hard to believe, but young adults love Sponge Bob) was repurposed and re-edited by another agency to add toy footage and aired on Nick. I was livid and we got it pulled." * "It's not a matter of the rightness or wrongness of the products being advertised. That is a grey area. But there are children and there are adults. And the duty of adults in society is to protect its children. And that is black and white." The essay dropped at a time when Crispin is running TV commercials featuring children for its new Kraft Mac & Cheese client, and key client Burger King is clearly examining its agency roster under new global chief marketing officer Natalia Franco. It's easy to surmise Mr. Bogusky's ramblings are becoming a sore spot for Crispin and its clients. MDC Chairman-CEO Miles Nadal declined to elaborate on the company's written statement provided earlier this morning, which thanked Mr. Bogusky for his service; Mr. Bogusky, meanwhile, did not return requests for comment. In order for him to exit, MDC had to break its contract with Mr. Bogusky -- whose face as of this story's publication was still emblazoned on the company's website. His Crispin contract wasn't set to end till December 2010 thanks to a contract extension he signed in November 2007, when MDC upped its incremental investment in Crispin. (MDC now owns Crispin outright.) Deutsche Bank analyst Matthew Chesler in a note to clients today shrugged off the exit. "What does all this mean for CPB?" Mr. Chesler wrote. "It means that we are all looking in the rear-view mirror at a transition that has already happened. If there's any disruption in account activity or loss of talent, it certainly won't be because of Bogusky's resignation." Ad industry effect And indeed, Mr. Bogusky for the better part of two years hasn't touched client business at the agency, having trained a new band of creatives that are winning accolades such as its Interactive Agency of the Year award last week at Cannes. But his departure does mean he won't be influencing the creative at other agencies under the MDC umbrella, as he was set to do in his new holding-company-wide role. It also raises the question of whether the ad business will be affected by one of its most visible creative leaders leaving it altogether. Industry recruiters are torn. "It's always sad when the person whose name is on the door leaves," said Sharon Speilman, managing director at Howard Sloan Koller Group. Clients tend to look at an agency and assume that the man whose name is on the door is actively involved with every aspect of their business, but it's really about how they influence everything about the agency's culture and mission. And I think Alex has always done that. He brought in the kind of people that believe in his mission." She added: "The disappointment to MDC is the influence he would have had on other agencies. Would he himself have attracted people that MDC might not have? That's possible." "It's not like he was sitting playing a meaningful role in the day-to-day execution of all those agencies," said Pat Mastandrea, partner at the Cheyenne Group. "People don't get into one career industry and stay for the rest of their lives anymore. As a trend, we have an opportunity today to have multiple careers in a lifetime. It's time for him to be moving on and doing something ... he represents a great role model for creative people." Susan Friedman, head of New York and California-based search firm and recruitment firm Susan Friedman Ltd., believes "it will have an interesting impact on MDC. Many agencies are changing their creative leadership as the business is changing. People get tired and want to reinvent themselves, and this is a time for agencies to be reinventing themselves, so why not the top people?" Next up? Indeed, 2010 has been a year for many of the industry's most prominent players to explore new horizons. A long list including the likes of Gerry Graf, Colleen Decourcy, Ty Montague and Rosemarie Ryan have all left their jobs at big agencies to try new ventures. As for what Mr. Bogusky will do next, it wouldn't be a surprise if he gave directing a try. After all, at one time he was shopping a movie to Hollywood and, as recently as last year, was rumored to have been working on a documentary-slash-reality show about the agency. Meanwhile Ad Age readers are torn between having him lead the government's anti-childhood-obesity task force and starting a TV talk show. What he won't be doing? Working with Crispin clients or earning some $2 million a year. Mr. Bogusky is subject to a multi-year non-compete agreement -- a "non-solicitation/non-servicing agreement" -- that he originally signed in January 2001, when MDC bought its initial 49% stake in Crispin (as of October 2009 it owns 100%. Deutsche Bank in its note estimated that the company would save $2 million or more annually with him off the payroll. Contributing: Brad Johnson
  19. Talk Back Voice Command Organizer Salary Free Secretary Siri: Alex, You Are not Siri(ous).
  20. Digital Designer Folkmatic is looking for an experienced Digital Designer to join our Copenhagen or Belgrade offices If you’re right for the job, it’s because you have vision, voice and pride. You’re a user yourself and have the empathy and imagination to understand a full spectrum of user needs. You care deeply about what you put out there and understand the responsibility you carry when advising and designing. Your background has provided a broad experience in shaping great user experience for screens large and small. In addition to having a unique vision you have a strong voice to speak your convictions and a clear will to execute your concepts. What you’ll be doing with us Apply a finely tuned eye for both the big idea and the many details to deliver quality you can take pride in Collaborate with project managers and developers to produce forward-thinking, thoughtful and relevant design work Work intimately with clients – understand their business and challenge them on goals and requirements Take part in phrasing the creative direction for our projects Interview, mentor and lead daily work of interns and juniors Lift agency-wide responsibility on innovation and quality Understand project boundaries, incl. business-related conditions, internal goals, user needs, technical limitations, budget and schedule Conduct newbiz conceptualisations and presentation pitches Stay up-to-date on new tools and best practices for working smarter Maintain awareness of industry trends and share latest developments with the rest of the team What we expect you’re capable of Humblebrag your experience with a strong portfolio in digital design Master Photoshop, InDesign, Illustrator and Sketch like a boss Talk the talk with English skills, both written and spoken – Danish or Serbian are a plus Present well-grounded knowledge base of web tech and mobile frameworks Communicate effectively virtually, in a team and under a project setting Proficiency with HTML/CSS/JS – a plus About Folkmatic Folkmatic is a digital agency with offices in Copenhagen and Belgrade. We consult and realize digital business that transforms products and services by putting people first. The team is a collective of senior digital types with agency and product backgrounds. We’re “people people” – dedicated to making the people we work with and the people we work for better at what they do. Not least, we’re passionate about the process and dedicate hands-on 
seniors to secure a safe journey from briefing through exploration. Our clients range from startups to corporate, across a broad spectrum of industries and count 24/7 Entertainment, Citrix (Podio), DAY, Egmont, Flügger, Copenhagen Municipality, Lauritz.com, Magasin, Nobel, Phaidon, Radikale Venstre, Squirl, TDC, Zimmer, 
and many more. If you’re the right fit for us, we’ll be happy to offer you a seat in our light Copenhagen office or charming Belgrade office – with all the daily delights, opportunities to learn and grow, competitive salary scheme and extra perks. Apply for the job Please send us your application along with your CV and portfolio to joinus@folkmatic.com with the subject field “Digital Designer”. If you have any questions regarding this position, don’t hesitate to get in touch. Please see www.folkmatic.com for more info, and for the updated list of job vacancies!
  21. Pretpostavljam da mislis na reklamu za uslugu "Talk Talk", http://www.krompir.co.yu/audiovideo/Talktalk.mpeg , from Carphone Warehouse (usluga je na www.talktalk.co.uk )? Ovde bez zadnjih namera referiram na diskusiju o "sandman" spot-u za Don kafu (koji je mnogima zalicio na reklamu sa Animal Planet, upravo zbog istog "sandman"-a, tacnije, "sandwoman", :) ): Takodje, bicu slobodan da (opet bez zadnjih namera) referiram i na diskusiju o spotu za Booster, koji je ne jednu osobu podsetio na TV-spot za pesmu grupe U.N.C.L.E: Inace, bas je zgodna ova analogija sa muzickim TV-spotom, jer, ako pogledamo TV-spot za pesmu "Mad World" u izvodjenju Gary-ja Jules-a, koju u originalu, ako se ne varam, izvodi upravo grupa "Talk Talk", http://pdl.stream.aol.com/aol/us/aolmusic/...haf0fh8a_dl.mov (directed by Michel Gondry & Lauri Faggioni), primeticemo frapantnu slicnost sa reklamom za uslugu Talk Talk? Da nije i reklamu rezirao Gondri? Dakle, ne imitacija, vec koriscenje iste koreografske tehnike, ili koriscenje vizuelne inspiracije. Kako god, sve je to, u krajnjoj liniji, samo jedan segment "sletskih vezbi" koje su, u nesto grandioznijoj formi, koriscene u antologijskom TV-spotu za British Airways (rezija jednog od brace Scott, ako se ne varam), a koje su (grandiozne sletske vezbe), tako uspesno parodirane u TV-spotu za Carlton Draught... sto je, sve zajedno, apsolutno moglo biti inspirisano raznim Danima mladosti Josipa Broza Tita i sletovima na Stadionu JNA. Tako da je, u krajnjoj liniji, i poneko od nasih veterana advertising-a, u stvari, u ranoj mladosti uticao na svetski advertising? :P OK, i oni su bili inspirisani sokolskim vezbama od pre II svetskog rata... Ili, sto bi otprilike rekao Peter Gabriel, "Posle Baha, Mocarta i Betovena, tesko da je komponovano ista novo, svi mi samo premestamo iste deonice." A sto se tice ove turske reklame, mogu samo da primetim da je ona na mene, kao zestokog anglofila i totalnog nepoznavaoca turskog jezika, ostavila utisak koji g. Bernbach pominje u sledecem iskazu: "You've got to say it in such a way that people will feel it in their gut." (Da ne bude zabune, ovolicko je falilo da i "sandwoman" Don kafe izazove kod mene takvu reakciju, samo da nije onog montazno-kopirajterskog antiklimaks-zbrzavanja na kraju.) Ili, sto bi sazeto rekao kolega iz ofisa nakon sto je pogledao turski spot (dok spusta slusalice, zuri u zavrsni frame i uzdise): "Bruka." (sta cete, lokalni uticaji, kad nam je ofis na Dorcholu, :lol: :lol: :lol: )
  22. Nikon DF i 105 1.8 AIS@2.8 Small talk by Marko Cvetkovic, on Flickr
  23. još jedno bezvokalno najuživajuće, sluhodoživljavanje perfektne notne kreativnosti. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X8pVz6nJpEc If These Trees Could Talk - Red Forest sa malo tvrdjim , brzim, jacim: If These Trees Could Talk — Above the Earth, Below the Sky (a nekada sam mislio da je ORION jedino instrumentalno izvođenje vredno pažnje....ehh)
  24. Ludi primeri komunikacije... ___________________________________________________________________ “You mean every time you do work for us, you charge us?” ___________________________________________________________________ Me: “Worst case scenario, you can just email the text in the body of an email.” Client: ”I will print, scan to pdf and resend via email shortly.” ___________________________________________________________________ “We need to talk about these alleged “invoices” ___________________________________________________________________ “Can we have gold on our website, or will that cost us more?” ___________________________________________________________________ Me: You don’t have a copy of the logo? Client: No. I dunno. We lost it. Me: Ok, then try contacting the designer who made your logo for you. I’m sure he won’t mind sending you another copy. Client: No, no, we can’t let him know how to reach us. Me: What? Why not? Client: Because then we’d have to pay him! ___________________________________________________________________ Me: “Have you had time to look over the proposal?” Client: “We really like your illustration style, very artsy. But, we don’t feel you can put a price on art. So can you do it for free?” ___________________________________________________________________ “We like this guy a lot. He’s perfect for the brochure. Can you make him African American?” ___________________________________________________________________ “When the hell did a contract become somebig, official thing? It’s just a damn piece of paper!” ___________________________________________________________________ “I keep looking at this website and it just isn’t blowing my skirt up for some reason. Can’t really explain why. Let’s start over.” ___________________________________________________________________ “Why the heck should I pay for the domain of my company’s website? I own the company and I came up with the name!” ___________________________________________________________________ “Just spray your creative juices all over it!” ___________________________________________________________________ “Make it so when a user clicks a link it disappears from the site so they know they already visited that page.” ___________________________________________________________________ [Client flipping through some anime that I had drawn.] Client: “These are really great.” Me: “Would you like me to draw some anime for the site?” Client: “What!? This isn’t a porn site!” ___________________________________________________________________ “Please send me a reasonable estimate.” ___________________________________________________________________ “I want something like Facebook. And don’t try to rip me off, I know that Facebook is free” ___________________________________________________________________ “Please stop abbreviating “continue” to “cont.” It looks too much like “cunt.” Thanks.” ___________________________________________________________________ “These stock images are way too expensive, please just remove the watermarks in Photoshop.” ___________________________________________________________________ “I’ve made the site myself in Powerpoint and exported it to HTML. Could you convert it to Joomla?” ___________________________________________________________________ Client: “Sometimes the cursor on our site is the standard arrow, and sometimes it is a hand.” Me: “Yes, the hand appears when you mouseover a link.” Client: “Well, we’ve discussed it, and we’ve decided that we’d like it to always be the hand.” ___________________________________________________________________ [Client sent me some complex logos (as JPEGs) in order to vectorize them.] Client: “What exactly is taking so long? If I knew it would take so long, I’d have done it myself.” Me: “Vectorizing the logos takes some time because—” Client: “Time? Renaming files from *.jpg to *.eps takes time?!” ___________________________________________________________________ “I want a website that pops-up on peoples GPS systems when they drive by my store. Let’s take a range of 5km.” ___________________________________________________________________ Client: “What’s my username?” Me: “It’s your first name, a space and then your last name.” Client: ”How am I supposed to remember that?” ___________________________________________________________________ “The problem with you college students is that you always expect to get paid for the work that you do.” ___________________________________________________________________ “How can I send my newsletter to customers who didn’t check “I want to receive the newsletter” ?” ___________________________________________________________________ Me: “OK, let’s start by opening your web browser.” Client: “Web browser? Oh, you mean Internet Explorer?” Me: “Sure, that’ll work. Now you’re going to click on the web address window at the top of your browser and type in…” Client: “Wait, wait, slow down. What do you mean by click?” Me: “… like, click with your mouse button.” Client: “Mouse button? What? Man, this is really confusing.” ___________________________________________________________________ Client: “The website you designed looks great but my partner is here and she’s looking at it from across the room and it’s a bit difficult to read.” Me: “From across the room?” Client: “It looks better from across the table, but go ahead and take a look at what you can do to fix the issue.” ___________________________________________________________________ My first phone conversation with a new client: Client: ”I love your rough concept! And your estimate’s very reasonable, too — oh, I’m so glad I found you. I’ll be the best client ever, I promise!” Me: ”Great! Glad you like it.” Client: ”Do you want to have babies?” Me: “Pardon?” Client: ”A friend of mine’s single, she’s super cute and I think you’d get along great. She’s into art and stuff like you are. And she seriously wants kids. I can hook you guys up, seriously!” ___________________________________________________________________ ”We really love your portfolio and have decided to add you to our shortlist for the project. Please provide us with three logo concepts for next year’s release and three complete designs for the new model. Each design is to come with three different colour combinations too. Once we get everyone’s ideas, we’ll decide who we want to hire for the job.” ___________________________________________________________________ Me: “Now, double-click on the little icon that says Internet Explorer.” Client: “I can’t do that. I’m Christian. I don’t believe in icons.” Me: “Fine then. Double-click on the little image that says Internet Explorer.” Client: “Okay.” ___________________________________________________________________ ”It’s a poo fetish website. But it needs to be classy.” ___________________________________________________________________ ”I want you to design me something that will make people horny when they look at it.” ___________________________________________________________________ Me: “Okay, so here are some rough concepts I’ve worked up. Once you’ve -“ Client (interrupting): “What the hell am I looking at? These look like scribbles my five-year-old could do.” Me: “Oh, they’re just roughs to get the concept figured out, once we have that done I’ll begin work on the finished piece.” Client: “How am I supposed to decide which illustration I like if I can’t see them all finished. Finish them and then I’ll decide which one to use.” Me: “Well, I can certainly do that, but just so you’re aware, I will have to raise my fees to cover the cost of bringing each of these concepts to a finish.” Client: “Who do you think you are to make demands?! I’m the client, I get to make the demands! It’s not like this is a real job anyway, all you’re doing is drawing.” ___________________________________________________________________ Client: ”The site is looking great! However, I’m a bit confused. I thought you said the design was done.” Me: ”Yep, the ‘visual’ design is complete. Was there something bothering you about it?” Client: ”Oh no! The design is great, everyone loves it! However, it doesn’t seem to be finished. There are a bunch of pages that look wrong.” Me: ”How so? Could you show me?” [The client proceeds to click through his site and eventually comes to an external link that takes the user to Amazon.com] Client: ”This page looks nothing like our site.” Me: ”[somewhat confused] That’s because it’s not your site.” Client: ”But we just got here from our site. Can’t you make it look like ours?” Me: ”I’m afraid not. That would be like walking over to your neighbor’s home and re-landscaping their yard and painting their house to match your own.” Client: ”Oh…well that sucks.” ___________________________________________________________________ Client: ”How much do you charge to install Windows on a computer?” Me: “$85” Client: ”Is it going to be legal?” Me: ”Yes.” Client: “How much do you charge for a pirated copy?” Me: ”$10,000 or 10 years in prison.” ___________________________________________________________________ ”It’s kinda the same idea as facebook, with functionality more like Twitter, but with the innovation of Microsoft.” ___________________________________________________________________ ”It’s not clear what the user should do with the check box.” ___________________________________________________________________ While developing an affiliate website for one of our mobile network clients, my employer came over and reviewed the site we were building. Boss: “I think we need to have some sort of avatar on the home page, to welcome the users to the site.” Me: “Okay, no problem. Was there anything you had in mind?” Boss: “Well since sex sells, I would like to have a slim, sexy cartoon woman holding a mobile phone.” [i proceeded to create this sexy avatar.] Me: “I’ve finished the avatar. Was this what you were after?” Boss: “That’s nice but it’s not what I was after.” Me: “Okay. What are you looking for then?” [My Boss then loaded up his internet browser and Google searched an image of a small, chubby, animated duck holding a mobile phone.] Me: “I thought you wanted a sexy woman?” Boss: “I do.” Me: “So you want a cross between a sexy woman and a fat, yellow duck?” ___________________________________________________________________ Me: “Did you get the files I sent you?” Client: “Yes, but they were huge!” Me: “The files I sent you were well under the limit of something you could email.” Client: “They were 122 mega bitmaps each.” Me: ”They were both a little over 1MB, which is a fairly small file.” Client: “I don’t care how many megabytes they were. It’s all thosebitmaps that are bringing my computer to its knees!” ___________________________________________________________________ Me: “Well sir, the total for your new logo, business cards and menu designs is $350.” Client: “Are you kidding me? The reason I chose a student designer was to get something cheap, plus help you out for your portfolio. I could have went to a professional and paid much less.” Me: “Um, that’s not true. I spent a lot of time dealing with your daughter who insisted on multiple revisions to the logo, and you ended up with a look that everyone is pleased with. This same project might have cost you 10 times the amount I’m charging you. I think it’s a great deal.” Client: “I highly doubt that. It’s just words and colors. Plus, our satisfaction has nothing to do with the amount we pay you. I’ll send you a check for what I think is fair.” I got a check for 100 bucks. With “here you go asshole” written in the memo. ___________________________________________________________________ Client: “This fax machine isn’t working properly.” Me: “How so?” Client: “Every time I put the paper in the one side and press ‘Send’ it comes right out the other side.” Me: “How do you mean?” Client: “Well, it’s not sending.” Me: “Well, it doesn’t actually send the physical page, just a digital representation of it, like a picture.” Client: “Isn’t that why it comes out all curled up?” Me: “It’s magic.” ___________________________________________________________________ Client: “What is going on with my website? It looks all wrong!” Me: “It was working just fine yesterday, let’s take a look.” Us: “Let’s take a look… (We download a page, check out the code). Well, it looks as if someone’s gone in and deleted some of the code that makes the site work.” Client: “Yeah, that was me, I was getting rid of some of your unnecessary code… why isn’t the site working?” ___________________________________________________________________ ”I don’t want to print my brochure in CMYK, because it is more expensive and has one color more than RGB, so print it in RGB and I will save some money.” ___________________________________________________________________ Me: “If you could send me a check or use Paypal, that’d be great.” Client: “Well, I don’t really trust Paypal or like mailing checks out. Can you come pick it up in person?” Me: “We’re 4 states apart and it’s a 12 hour drive…” Client: “It’s a nice drive though! You’ll like it, I promise. See you tomorrow!” ___________________________________________________________________ Boss charges into my office furiously, two days after the company site goes live. Boss: “Carl just showed me that people can right-click our site and view all our code.” Me: “Well, yes, that’s how web browsers work.” Boss: “Take the whole thing down, now! I’ll be damned if I’m going to give our competitors all our god-damn code!” ___________________________________________________________________ Client: “I want a way to track all the people that come to my site. Names, addresses, telephone numbers and cell phone.” Us: “Well, there are some tools to capture visitor information but not to that level unless the viewer supplies that to you. They would have to register at the site and that kills page views.” Client: “I don’t know why this is so fucking hard! You are the 5th firm to tell us that! Its fucking 2009, can’t anyone make the internet work right?” ___________________________________________________________________ Client: “We want out home page to be very minimalistic. We like lots of white space, and only the most important elements. It should look like Google – basically, a logo and one or two other important things.” Me: “Great! In that case, what would you consider to be the one or two most important things?” Client: “Rotating article carousel, dropdown menus, power search, forum list, latest forum posts, member sign-up, news ticker, event countdown, testimonials, featured VIP member, RSS news feed, and four blocks of advertising.” ___________________________________________________________________ Me: “Good afternoon, we’ve noticed that you haven’t paid the entire amount due on your bill.” Client: ”We haven’t received an invoice.” Me: ”Then how did a check show up with the invoice number on it in the memo field? We appreciate the timely payment, but it’s about 75 dollars short of the payment due.” Client: ”You know this is a church group right? We don’t have to pay taxes, and you realize you go to hell for lying, right?” Me: ”Well if you check the invoice, there is no sales tax applied, but you realize you go to hell for theft too, correct?” ___________________________________________________________________ Designed a simple web banner for their etsy shop and a few days later… Client: “The banner looks terrible its all fuzzy and you cant read it.” Me: “Thats odd because Im looking at your etsy shop now and it looks great.” Client: ”No not that one, I also had it printed into a 1.5 meter long banner to hang over my stall at the market. Looks horrible!” ___________________________________________________________________ Client: I know you creative guys sometimes need “inspiration.” I really want my project to go well so I will get you the kind of inspiration you need, OK? Free of charge. [it was revealed later in the meeting that he was suggesting that he would supply our designers with marijuana.] ___________________________________________________________________ Client: “How come all the photos I took have the heads cut off?” Me: “Hmm, Did you look though the view finder when you took them?” Client: “I don’t know what that is. Can’t you just move the picture up so I can see their heads? I mean they’re digital pictures?” ___________________________________________________________________ Client: I showed this logo to my daughter and she didn’t like it. Me: How old is your daughter? Client: Five. Me: But your target audience is recovering drug addicts. Client: Right. ___________________________________________________________________ Client: “That’s way too much money to charge for an email campaign. It’s not hard to put a few graphics in an email.” Me: “I charge based off of my regular hourly rate and that’s how long it will take to complete the project.” Client: “Forget it. We’ll just do it in house. We have a copy of Dreamweaver.” [Phone call 2 weeks later] Client: “Can you talk for a second?” Me: “Sure.” Client: “OK. We made that email campaign, but I can’t figure out why all of the links take me to the unsubscribe page.” Me: “I’m not sure. Is this a test email you’re talking about? I can finish the project for you based on my hourly rate.” Client: “Well…no. We already sent it.” The client sent an email campaign to a list of 74,000 customers with every link in the email being a one-click unsubscribe. ___________________________________________________________________ Client: “I decided I want one of the illustrations you already did for my logo and I am going to use it for the background on my checks.” Me: “A logo is usually a simple graphic used to represent your business, in your case, the book series and characters. The illustrations are a bit too detailed for that purpose. How about I simplify the characters and series title and create a logo?” Client: “Why can’t you just shrink the picture down to the size of the check?” Me: “The artwork is 12” square and proportionally will not work in a rectangle.” Client: “Wait, hold on… you know I don’t understand you when you use those technical terms.” Me: “By proportionally I mean…” Client: “No not that word, the other one you said. It won’t work in a what?” Me: “Rectangle?” Client: “Yes.” Me: “Um, a rectangle is the shape of your checkbook.” Client: “Oh ok.” ___________________________________________________________________ Client: ”I would like to commission you to draw a cover for my bands first album, and it goes on sale in September.” Me: ”Congratulations, so what would you like for the cover?” Client: “Something midevily, like a dragon and a woman wizard fighting, but in the night sky, and there like fighting a dwarf in a mech suit, like a Gundam. And make the moon in the sky on fire. That would be cool.” Me: ”That seems like it would be an eye sore to me…” Client: ”No, this idea would reflect our music perfectly, we agreed, and it’ll deffinitely get people to buy our stuff.” Me: ”So what kind of music do you guys do?” Client: ”Country.” ___________________________________________________________________ Client: ”Your rates are too high! I’ll do the design myself, and then you can do the implementation.” Me: ”Okay, that’s fine, just send me the files when you’re finished.” Client: ”Just one question- how many centimeters is a pixel?” ___________________________________________________________________ THE FORBIDDEN FRUIT Client: Hey, just one final question before I send the deposit. Do you use a PC or a MAC? Me: I use a MAC. Client: That is a problem. Do you have access to a PC? I am not a supporter of Apple products. Me: No, I don’t have access to a PC, but this will have little to no effect on the work itself. Client: I am a Christian and Apple products are sinful, I do not want our website to be created by a product made by this corrupt group. You need only look at their logo, an apple with a bite taken from it. Do you not know the story of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden? If I allowed you to create my website on a MAC I would be just like Adam, taking a bite of the forbidden fruit. [silence] “Take my advise, destroy your mac and repent for when judgement day comes. It shall be you who is cast to hell for your sins.” Me: [block Contact] ___________________________________________________________________ Client: ”Can you make the ‘About Us’ link say ‘About Us – Everyone welcome’?” Me: “Sure, but…why?” Client: ”I’m afraid people might not know they’re allowed to click that link. They might think it’s private. We need them to know it’s okay for them to go there.” Me: ”But none of the links on your site are private. Why are you concerned with that specific one?” Client: “Good point. You’d better add ‘Everyone welcome’ to all the links on the site.” ___________________________________________________________________ As told by an old school film editor, from the days when they actually handled film: Client: ”What is your rate?” Me: ”$50 per hour.” Client: ”Can I come watch you?” Me: ”Sure, for $100/hour.” Client: ”What if I help you?” Me: ”That would be $400 per hour.” ___________________________________________________________________ Client: “That logo looks awesome, thanks! We’re going to go with that design.” Me: “Great, I’ll put the high res files on a CD and drop it off to your office this afternoon, and you can write me a cheque for payment.” Client: “Yeah, I wanted to talk to you about that. We think that instead of “traditional” payment, we would like to put you on the Barter System.” Me: “But you agreed to my costs weeks ago.” Client: “Wouldn’t you like a new TV instead? We could get you one. Or maybe one of our other suppliers could fix your guttering or something?” Me: ”I already have a TV, a new one isn’t going to feed my family. I think I’ll take a cheque as agreed.” Client: “But the Barter System has been around, like, forever. You scratch my back, I scratch yours.” Me: “Maybe I should try this Barter System. Tell you what, instead of paying me, you can come around to my house and cook me dinner every night for a month.” Client: “…” Me: “Hello?” Client: ”So how much do I make the cheque out for?” ___________________________________________________________________ Me: ”I will create a login box on your website. Once someone registers and logs in, the website will recognize who the user is and provide relevant content.” Client: ”That sounds great. However, instead of a login box I’d like to use biometrics to identify the user.” Me: ”Not sure what you mean.” Client: ”When someone visits the website, I want them to be able to put their hand on the monitor. The monitor will then scan their hand to confirm who they are. I think that would be a lot more engaging. How much extra would that functionality cost?” Me: ”Several hundred million dollars.” Client: Why are you being a wiseass? Can you do it or not? Me: ”No. Sorry. That’s a little too advanced.” Client: ”Fine. I’ll try another web designer.”
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