www.hitman.us
HITMAN offers a variety of assassination services and contract killing options. We are the industry leader in innovative killing techniques and manage a network of freelance assassins on five continents, available on short notice, around the clock. Next time you have a problem, remember: our contract killers are waiting for your call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
"I met my wife through RussianBrides.com... and things didn't quite go as planned. Right after she got her Green Card she started acting up and wanted to leave. She was threatening to take the house, the car, the kids and a big chunk of my money. When she said she was going to see a lawyer, I finally decided to contact HITMAN. She ended up seeing a pathologist, instead. Ironically, the whole thing didn't cost me a penny. After I paid HITMAN for their services, I collected ten time as much from my wife's life insurance."
S.M. -- Electrician
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CITAT
HITMAN is a cruelty-free organization. None of our services have been tested on animals.
"This guy moved in next door. I didn't like the way he looked in that shirt. So, I called HITMAN. I never saw him again. Or his shirt. Serves him right."
D.G. -- Retired Truck Driver
"I had been waiting for a promotion for years. All that was stopping me was the old creep that refused to retire. Then he died unexpectedly of old age."
G.W. -- Chief Executive Officer
"I had this huge crush on this girl. There was only one problem: her boyfriend. So, I contacted HITMAN and problem was quickly solved. The doctors said that they did everything they could, but that they didn't catch his sudden illness on time, and that it was simply too late to make arrangements for a liver transplant. I was there to console the girl through her hard times. We've been happily married ever since."
T.B. -- Former Student
"My upstairs neighbor was always playing loud music. It used to drive me nuts. I tried everything. I tried to talk to him nicely, I tried to play loud musing back, I even once switched off his electricity. Nothing worked. Then I started considering other alternatives; i.e. permanent solutions. I contacted HITMAN and they solved the problem within 24 hrs. For about a week everything was quiet. Then his next door neighbor upstairs called 911 because she smelled something. The cops found him dead, and the medical examiner said that he had died of Autoerotic Asphyxiation while listening to music on his walkman."
F.U. -- Student
"They said he died of a 45 Magnum. I almost died of laughter..."
Anonymous Client
D.G. -- Retired Truck Driver
"I had been waiting for a promotion for years. All that was stopping me was the old creep that refused to retire. Then he died unexpectedly of old age."
G.W. -- Chief Executive Officer
"I had this huge crush on this girl. There was only one problem: her boyfriend. So, I contacted HITMAN and problem was quickly solved. The doctors said that they did everything they could, but that they didn't catch his sudden illness on time, and that it was simply too late to make arrangements for a liver transplant. I was there to console the girl through her hard times. We've been happily married ever since."
T.B. -- Former Student
"My upstairs neighbor was always playing loud music. It used to drive me nuts. I tried everything. I tried to talk to him nicely, I tried to play loud musing back, I even once switched off his electricity. Nothing worked. Then I started considering other alternatives; i.e. permanent solutions. I contacted HITMAN and they solved the problem within 24 hrs. For about a week everything was quiet. Then his next door neighbor upstairs called 911 because she smelled something. The cops found him dead, and the medical examiner said that he had died of Autoerotic Asphyxiation while listening to music on his walkman."
F.U. -- Student
"They said he died of a 45 Magnum. I almost died of laughter..."
Anonymous Client
FAQ
Q: Do you use dumdum bullets?
A: No! Those are prohibited by law.
Q: What do you recommend that I do once the victim is dead and authorities start looking for suspects?
A: We recommend that you pay us what you owe.
Q: Is a contract killing tax deductible?
A: We don't have the authority to offer tax advice.
Q: Why do they sterilize needles used for lethal injections?
A: No idea! Why?
Q: How can I become a hitman?
A: Step 1: buy a HITMAN "STAFF" T- shirt from our online shop.
Q: Do you use dumdum bullets?
A: No! Those are prohibited by law.
Q: What do you recommend that I do once the victim is dead and authorities start looking for suspects?
A: We recommend that you pay us what you owe.
Q: Is a contract killing tax deductible?
A: We don't have the authority to offer tax advice.
Q: Why do they sterilize needles used for lethal injections?
A: No idea! Why?
Q: How can I become a hitman?
A: Step 1: buy a HITMAN "STAFF" T- shirt from our online shop.
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